He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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