What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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