Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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