im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize