I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
