Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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