Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ketchup is God's man juice
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
