well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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