i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
