I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we're so committed to being not committed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
