he wants to bone in the snuggie
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
