On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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