You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
