I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
