good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
