he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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