I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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