If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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