yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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