Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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