I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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