I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Soap is not a condiment
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
