I want to stick my p in your. b.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
