i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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