i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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