She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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