i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
