Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
