I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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