glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
