whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
