how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
