I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
