please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
