That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My balls are so social today.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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