my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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