I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
