Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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