dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
