physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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