Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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