This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
