Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this just has baby written all over it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
