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You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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