drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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