She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
