I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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