i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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