pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
