You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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