I can tuck mytits in my pants
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
